My Story

I grew up in the church. As far back as I can remember I went to church. I have pictures of me in cute little dresses outside my house, ready to leave for Easter Sunday. This quickly became my favorite thing about going to church, being able to put on a dress because I was definitely a girly girl. Through church I learned about Jesus through the Bible but they were nothing more than just stories to me. I believed Jesus was real but never experienced Him for myself. This routine continued on for quite some time and I thought it was normal. Learn about Jesus, be a good girl, and look good on the outside. It wasn’t until my family found our way to Quest Community Church that I started to see people experience a personal God; One that wasn’t just up in the sky looking over us but taking people’s hands and walking in a relationship with them. At this point in my life I had a lot of hurt stored up in my heart. A reoccurring event in my life was losing friends. I’d make a friend, have them for about 2 years and then we would get in a big fight and never talk to each other again. This hurt lead to me not trusting anyone. I had a lot of hurt I was holding onto and chose to play the victim in all these fights. At the same time I was in a constant battle with fear. I was always scared. Scared of bad things happening out of my control, scared of letting people know the real me in fear of being made fun of, and fear of never being accepted, loved, or cared for by anyone. It got so bad sometimes that I would physically make myself sick and even had to go to counseling for a season because it got so out of control. So in the middle of not having any friends and just feeling like I was worthless Jesus intersected my life. I started hearing about how Jesus died on the cross just for me. If I was the only one to respond to his offer of pure love He still would have chosen to die. Even knowing all of this I still tried to look perfect on the outside but I was very messy on the inside. I had sinned, big time, on many occasions, and I started to feel the weight of that. But I chose to ignore it and continued to let the enemy’s voice speak loudly to me and tell me I wasn’t wanted. Something kept drawing me back to the people I saw at Quest, I still kept seeing person after person trust that Jesus was real and step into a relationship with Him. These people were different than the friends I had fought with in the past. Instead of fighting with me they fought to make me feel loved and fought for our friendship. I didn’t understand why, I was nothing special. But they saw me through Jesus’ eyes. Eyes that actually saw me. I didn’t have to hide or pretend to be someone I’m not. Jesus was pursuing me through these friendships and I started to notice this the last few months of being a senior in high school. I had had an experience a few years back to where the head knowledge of knowing that Jesus loved me transferred to my heart. It wrecked me and from then on I believed that I mattered to Him. This experience brought me closer to Jesus but I was still missing the fundamental piece of having a relationship with Him. Senior year I found myself on a bus with a bunch of other high schoolers traveling to different states with my youth ministry. I got on the bus just expecting a fun week, but Jesus and other plans. Plans to interrupt me, take all my fear away, and finally hold me as I became His. I had been struggling with doubt of whether or not I knew Jesus for a couple months now and hadn’t told anyone because fear of being judged by people and fear of what people would think of me. Jesus spoke to me real clear the last night of the trip, through a Disney song actually, because He knew my heart that well. He said, “Brittney I have a whole new world for you with a new fantastic point of view.” It was such a sweet and gentle way for Him to say that I didn’t know Him and because of this when I got to the gates of Heaven He would have to send me away saying, “I never knew you.” And even though fear was yelling at me and trying to pull me away from the Truth, Jesus made it very safe for me. I got to talk to people who cared about me and ask them what giving my life to Christ actually meant for me. It meant I would have a Protector for the rest of my life and be welcomed into Heaven as a daughter of the Most High King. It was after I let Jesus take my fear that I got to lay all my sin out at the foot of the cross, ask for His forgiveness, receive His forgiveness, ask the Holy Spirit to come live in my heart, give Him control and asked Him to lead my life. That was on July 16th of 2010 and I haven’t been the same since. My life is still sometimes and I still make mistakes but I get to live in His grace.  Now, instead as being defined by being unwanted or not being good enough He has redefined me as loved, pure, and vital. I have friends who love me for me, I don’t have to walk around afraid, and I get the privilege of helping put people’s hands in Jesus’ as they move from death to life. As we say, and believe at quest, “Everyone who runs to Him makes it.” Everyone includes you.